An unexpected but necessary homecoming

My finals days in Berlin were wonderful thanks to my fantastic host family, and that made it difficult to leave on December 4...

Over the weekend, Lutz and Barbara took me out to a beautiful Christmas market in Berlin. There was even live entertainment complete with a ballet school's abridged version of The Nutcracker (I'm addicted), a crazy acrobatics show that I seriously can't even begin to explain because it was so bizarre, and even a few opera singers. It was also snowing the entire time, and so it felt extra magical :) Here are some pictures from the evening:

I was so unbelievably full at the market, and my host parents kept trying to get me to eat more food! I had gluhwein (hot red spiced wine - a German staple), candied almonds, a Hungarian fried bread thing smothered in garlic sauce, and chocolate-covered grapes.  I am never one to turn away food (especially chocolate), but I just couldn't fit any more in my stomach! It was a good problem to have...

On Sunday I went to another one of Jakob's soccer games, and he scored the first goal! It was really quite exciting, especially since his team always loses. Not this time ;)

On Monday I biked around the village of Zepernick (where my host family lived) to take in the sites one last time...

 

Monday night was my final night in Germany. My host family made reservations to take me out to eat at a nice German restaurant in our village. Before we left, they presented me with a couple of gifts. I was really surprised to be receiving more since they already treated me to the awesome show at the Friedrichstadt Palace! I would have never been able to guess what they presented to me that final night. They wrote a very flattering, articulate, and professional reference letter for me to use in my future job searches. I was so impressed and moved by that incredibly thoughtful gesture. They also gave me a photo book they created from my time in Berlin. I will cherish both of those items forever.

Later on at the German restaurant, I enjoyed goose (the typical bird Germans eat when celebrating holidays) and jolly conversation with Lutz, Barbara, Jakob, Anne, and Sandro. It was fun to all be together one last time.

The next morning, I was on my way. Lutz took me to the airport and took one final picture of me in Germany :) 

 
And then I was off to London! Here is where it gets a bit interesting... After hauling my three heavy pieces of luggage up and down all the stairs at the tube stations (no elevators!), breaking my roller suitcase handle, and checking into my hostel, I didn't know what to do. I was starving, cold, and overwhelmed with trying to manage all of my tentative plans to stay with people through couchsurfing.org, which was all made more difficult by the lack of free wifi at my hostel.  I was just frustrated and lonely.

The next day I took advantage of a free walking tour through London, where I was able to see the major sites: Buckingham Palace (the queen was home!), Westminster Abbey, Big Ben, Hyde Park, all of the guards with the funny hats who can't talk or smile, and then had bangers and mash (sausage and mashed potatoes) at a nice pub with some people from the tour group - mostly Australians and Americans.

I also did a pub crawl that night with a couple of the Aussies I met at the pub after our tour. It was neat to see a glimpse into the nightlife of London after not really experiencing much in Berlin for the 11 weeks I was there.

That fun did not last long, and the next day I was back to feeling quite overwhelmed, anxious, and frankly miserable. I walked all around town searching for free wifi so I could try and sort out my plans for the coming weeks and also find a phone store since the credit with my German SIM was quickly drained from using my phone for internet access in London. I swear I worked for months when I lived in Berlin to try and sort out accommodation options for my time in London, but it all seemed to be falling apart when I finally arrived. I was more lonely than ever, and sticking it out for two more weeks before finally going to Sweden felt like an eternity. It's not easy for me to travel by myself. I can handle the problem solving and decision making, but not the loneliness. I felt like I was pushing against the grain of an adventure that was supposed to be exciting and fun, but it really wasn't either of those things for me. Perhaps if I was there at a different time of year, or with more money, or with a friend, it would have been a different story. To cut to the chase, I decided to go home. Immediately. I called my Dad to discuss my feelings, and he agreed that it was time for me to come home. Instantly, I felt a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. I booked a ticket for the following morning, packed my luggage, and set my alarm to wake up early and head to the airport where I had just been a few days earlier. 

I am home in Prior Lake now, and it feels amazing. It was a difficult and costly decision to make. I was really looking forward to seeing my friend Mikaela in Sweden for Christmas and then traveling on with her to Dubai. However, I was so unhappy it just didn't seem worth it anymore to continue on feeling so lonely and miserable. Although I feared the response of my friends and family when I showed up a month earlier than expected, I have been greeted with wonderful heartfelt words of support for my decision. I am happy to be home for the holidays, and will continue to search for jobs as I look forward to the next leg of this adventure we all experience together: Life.

Thank you for following along on this enriching opportunity.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Leaving Minneapolis/St. Paul - September 15, 2012

 

Peace out Deutschland!

I have just under two days remaining in Germany. I would like to say "the time has flown by", but I'm not sure that's an accurate representation of my feelings at the moment. It has been a good ride. With that being said, I am ready to move on.

A lot of my time and energy during the past 11 weeks has been dedicated to school. I had my last day on Thursday and received my certificate to confirm my level of proficiency: B1. I started school (back on September 24) in the very beginning of level A2 and have improved tremendously in such a short period of time. I can be very proud of that. After all, that is really the main reason I came to Germany in the first place. I also believe I have the resources and ambition to continue learning the language from home. I'm looking forward to it. I have been told that your first foreign language is the most difficult to learn, because you often need to reacquaint yourself with grammar terms that you have long since forgotten (or perhaps never learned) for your native language. I really want to learn more languages: Spanish for sure (which I've heard is MUCH easier to learn than German). That will give me something to do in my free time :)

Of course another large chunk of my time here has been spent exploring Berlin and traveling to other regions of Germany as well as other countries. It is cool to look through my Lonely Planet book and say "Saw that. Been there. Did that." Of course I have many many many other places to visit, but I have really already accomplished a lot! My dad jokes that he lived in Germany for 3 years, but I have seen much more than he did during that time. I feel like I know Berlin like the back of my hand. Ok, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but it is nowhere near as intimidating as it was 11 weeks ago. I have seen the German cities of Dresden, Pirna, Erlangen, Nuremberg, and Stralsund. I have walked through the canal-lined streets of Amsterdam. I have admired the architecture of Vienna. I have toured fancy art museums in Berlin, Dresden, and Vienna; walked along the Berlin Wall; stood outside the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam; hiked through the gorges of the Saxony Switzerland; rode a 4-person bike on the railroad tracks in rural Brandenburg; stood through a 3-hour Italian opera at the famous opera house in Vienna; enjoyed a Las Vegas-like spectacle on the biggest theatre stage in the world (in Berlin); and much more. Like I said, it has been a good ride.

Here are some pictures from my weekend in Vienna...

Staatsoper (Opera House)

My hosts in front of Schloss Schoenbrunn

Cafe Central - A famous traditional meeting place for names such as Freud...there was a picture of this cafe in my German textbook the next day at school! I had the Viennese original: Sachertorte

On the streets of Vienna

Belvedere Palace and Art Museum

Ok, what next? Yesterday I mailed home my biggest suitcase filled to the brim with things deemed unnecessary for my remaining travels. It feels good to know I won't need to lug that around from London to Sweden to Dubai and back to the US.

I am back on the job hunt! Please keep me in mind if something crosses your desk or email inbox. Ideally I would like to work at a college or university in Student Services, but I am open to working for some other types of education-related institutions. 

More recent pictures...

My walk to school everyday in Prenzlauer Berg - a trendy district in Berlin

Another view on my walk to school. Typical street in Berlin.

Friedrichstadt-Palast - the largest theatre stage in the world!

Check out the trailer for "Show Me" - the performance I saw with my host parents as my "going-away" present :)

View from my bedroom window on Saturday morning - the first snowfall in my village of Zepernick!

An autumn morning waiting for the train at the station closest to my house. Everyday I would bike 10 minutes to the train station, ride the S-Bahn (city train) for about 20 minutes, and then change to take the underground train for about 5 minutes. Then I would walk about 7 minutes to finally end up at my school.

I also saw an awesome dance performance a couple of weeks ago at Admiralspalast in Berlin. Check out the trailer here. It combined classical ballet with funky jazz and sexy latin dancing with lots of partnering. This reminded me that I need to be performing. It is what truly makes me happy, and I couldn't help but smile throughout the entire concert. I am eager to get home and seek out performance opportunities. If you know of anything, please pass along the information to me!

Today I am going to Jakob's soccer game and then to visit some of the Christmas markets in Berlin with Lutz and Barbara. I also saw several Christmas markets when I was in Vienna.

I spent the day on Friday with Barbara at her school. It was fun to watch her teach (I even did long-hand multiplication and division problems!) and talk with her 4th, 5th, and 6th graders. After the school day, there was a Christmas festival complete with food, crafts, music, endless cake, and even a light snowfall that I admired from indoors. I think it will be the "normal" days like those that will stand out most in my memory when I look back at my time in Germany...

That is enough for now. It's not the most organized post I've ever written, but I wanted to be sure to document some of the experiences I have been having before I move along to London to begin a new leg of this journey. Thank you for reading!

I went to see an opera in Vienna

Grüß Gott from Wien!

This will be a very crude post since I have very little time, but I want to make sure I don't forget what I eventually want to write about...please forgive me notes. Actually, you can just ignore this post. It's mostly just for my memory. And to let you know I'm still alive.

Monday - GLS stammtisch with Anne. iPhone broke.

Tuesday - phone doctor. Ballet Revolucion at Admiralspalast. Fantastic performance. I want to perform. ASAP. Note to self for when I return to Mpls. Possible writing idea: pet peeves of fellow audience members' behavior.

Thursday - didn't go to school. Instead, accompanied field trip of Barbara's 5th grade art class of 27 students to Hamburger Bahnhof, museum of contemporary art. Fantastic day! Spoke German and English with the students. Super impressed with their creativity, intelligence, cleverness, imagination, and innocence. afterwards, late lunch at Italian restaurant in Buch with Barbara.

Friday - frühstück mit Rätsel in class with Jeremiah! Crazy man teacher for second block. Wanted to punch him. Also wanted to punch old man as I was biking home from the train station ("kein Rad Weg") and shakes his finger. Get a life...flight to Vienna to meet Jim and Andi! Fantastic people. Love their house.

Saturday - busy day in Vienna! Saw stephansdom, st michaels kirche, met daughter suzanna and her two friends for lunch at traditional Austrian restaurant. Had Weiner schnitzel. Saw hofsburg palace with Spanish riding school (horses). Multiple kristkindlmarkts, Naschmarkt, had glühwein. Went to staatsoper with Jim. 3 euros for stehplatz! In Italian, but I read the German subtitles :) stopped by outside of karlskirche. Votive kirche.

Sunday - schloss schönbrunn. Kaffee trinken at cafe zentral. Had famous sachetorte, chocolate cake with apricot jam. Yum! Belvedere - visited museum exhibit. Learned about gustav klimt, schiele, and another guy...must look up names. Saw hundertwasserhaus - so cool! Should google a picture of the inside. State subsidized housing. Interesting convo about learning disabilities and college degrees/job placement/legal matters.

I have sooooooo much to learn. I want to read more. I want to learn more languages. It's so fascinating to be around people who speak in two languages within the same sentence, with no problem. I love it and am so impressed. I want to do that.

What sort of life do I want to have? What do I want to be when I grow up? How can I have enough money to live and still do things like read, travel, and perform?

What do I need?

A German Thanksgiving

Success! After a bit of confusion converting cups to grams, Fahrenheit to Celsius, and playing Tetris to fit everything in the oven (not to mention finding enough dishes for the various casseroles), my host family and I enjoyed a very delicious Thanksgiving meal earlier today. Yes, we had to have Thanksgiving on a Sunday since we will all be working and going to school on Thursday while the US is enjoying a break :)

And here's what I was up to last night -- playing "carpenter" and "electrician" with Lutz in the garage attic! I was even sore this morning from sawing one piece of wood. Now how sad is that haha. It was fun.

Just for fun, check out this video re-cap of the Halloween party I attended in Berlin. I make two brief appearances...can you spot me? (Hint: I am a witch with a green face bobbing my head on the dance floor.)

Winding down my weeks in Berlin...

Believe it or not - I only have two more weeks to spend in Berlin. This routine way of living that I have come to accept as my new norm is about to come to an abrupt halt as I embark on the next leg of this adventure...

I am ready for the change. 

My last post ended with an account of my "bad day" last Thursday. The catalyst emotions for that day have been looming like a dark cloud that I have become tired of running from. 

I have been losing myself in books. They are an amazing replacement for people to talk to. Back at home (in MN), it takes me ages to get through a book - probably because I am always so busy and would prefer to be around people - but my life in Berlin is nearly the opposite. The language and culture barrier has become so stifling that I [very] often find myself retreating to my room to read, fall asleep, and meet my family and friends in my dreams. 

I did have a nice, long conversation with my host mother on Tuesday when it was obvious I could no longer hide my tears and sense of hopelessness. She normalized my emotions and reactions to my life here, which is just what I needed. It is nearly impossible to explain to someone who isn't here to see what I experience on a day-to-day basis. To Barbara, I voiced my frustration with my friends and family back home who tell me "Oh, you must be having so much fun! You're so lucky to have this experience. I'm jealous!" and "I think you're too busy - perhaps you need to rest more to make sure you don't burn out." and "I'm sure you'll make some friends soon."

Don't get me wrong, I sincerely appreciate all of the communication I have been receiving from my friends stateside. However, some of these typical statements (above) are so far removed from my actual lived experiences, that it has brought me to a breaking point. It was so important for me to hear Barbara share my concerns/letdowns with my experience here. The main one being my lack of friends. It's no wonder I'm reading away the majority of my waking hours. It has become too cold to walk around the city alone. What else is a girl to do?

I have been here 9 weeks now. 7 of those weeks I have been going to school. And still no friends. I had convinced myself that there must be something flawed in my approach when meeting new people. Perhaps I've been too closed, too quiet, and that is giving others a false impression (Lord knows I've heard this from several people when I lived in MN). However, much to my relief, Barbara assured me that I had it all wrong. She has even received feedback from her friends who have privately acknowledged to her how open and friendly I am! I almost couldn't believe the words as she told me... It isn't my fault. I have just been unlucky. I can handle that. It is better than living with a sense of guilt and dread that I'm just terrible at making friends.

Anyway, I have just over two weeks until I go to London. My plans for that next leg of travel have just recently come together in the last few days. Well, I still don't really have plans, but at least I know where I will be sleeping each night. I figure that's a good start. I have also connected with some Londoners on couchsurfing.org who have expressed interest in meeting up with me and possibly showing me around. I have no expectations and, as long as I can manage to stay warm, have no doubt I will enjoy the sights of the city.

A little bit about what I have been up to during the last week:
Last Sunday I visited the Sachsenhausen Concentration Camp. My, what a dreary place to see. 

I really didn't know what to expect, but the thing that surprised me the most was the sheer size. Even with most of the barracks gone, there were still so many places to see - after 3 hours there, I bet I only really absorbed half of the information/placards/photos/audio guide narrations. I truly had no idea how extensive an operation this camp was. Call me naive or ignorant, but I was under the false impression that concentration camps were only for Jews captured by the Nazi regime as a place to go that would ultimately lead to a sick and tortured death. Jews were only a portion of the prisoner population - gypsies, homosexuals, political activists, and others were also shunned to the terrible conditions of this place. I walked through the barracks, the infirmary, the mortuary cellar, the kitchen basement, the pathology lab, and the "prison" (as if life in the camp wasn't enough of a "punishment"). I was cold and hungry as I made my rounds, but my trials seemed so trivial in comparison to the horrors that occurred where my very feet were standing. 

On Tuesday night I went to Potsdamer Platz in Berlin to see the movie "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" (in English).  Anne met me there. I had popcorn for the first time since coming to Germany! I was shocked when the lady at the concession stand asked me if I wanted "salty" or "sweet" popcorn. Of course I want salty popcorn at the movie theatre! Anne thinks it's gross. I was SO happy and ate that entire bag before the first 10 minutes of the movie.

On Thursday, it was finally time for my long-awaited hair appointment. Those who know me well, know that I love going to the salon. It always makes me feel better. I live for changing my look. It's like a high for me. Anyway, I don't think I was expecting to ask for such a dramatic change in a foreign language. It was a bit unnerving at first. I sat down in the chair, and the lady really didn't speak many words of English. Thankfully, I found a picture on my phone to show [approximately] how I wanted my hair cut (although with my unruly mane nothing ever turns out like the pictures). I had to insist that "yes" I did want my hair as dark as the hair color sample I pointed to. It was funny. The hairdresser was basically fighting with my hair because it wouldn't straighten or lay like she wanted it to. Welcome to my world! In the end, it turned out awesome. I love it!

My latest challenge is preparing Thanksgiving dinner. Tomorrow. Oh boy. The first problem: I don't know how to cook. The second problem: I don't like cooking. The third problem: Germany doesn't have the same foods as the US (i.e., stuffing doesn't exist here, my host parents have never eaten turkey, and they don't know what pie is)...

Nevertheless, I will try. This morning I went to a Sam's Club-type store with Barbara and Lutz and bought all the ingredients I need (at least I hope so). It will be interesting...

Today I'm going to help Lutz work on building the attic above the garage. He is at the drywall stage. I offered to help! I think my Dad would be proud. Already this morning we went to a Menards-type store for some long piece of steel. Now Lutz just told me that his drill broke so he needs to go back to the store to buy a new one. I told him it's just like at home :) I think my Dad goes to Menards at least 3 times each weekend when he is working on a project (which is always).

Now I need to look up some recipes for tomorrow since I have promised my host family a Thanksgiving feast. Wish me luck!  

 

8 weeks in and still being a professional tourist

Where oh where to begin???

It has been one week since I last posted and I have many experiences to share. I also had a bad day yesterday, and I kind of want to write about my feelings surrounding that as well...

Ok, I think chronological order is best for my brain. 

Last Friday I had a sore throat, so I decided to just stay in. It was my Italian friend's last day in Berlin, and she invited me to meet her for dinner, but I decided against it because I wasn't feeling well. Not too exciting...

Saturday was a big day! Anne and Sandro (Anne's boyfriend) came over for breakfast and then took me on a hop on/hop off Berlin City Tour. It was my birthday present in action! We rode a double-decker bus around Berlin and were even serenaded by the tour guide. We got off at a couple of stops to walk around, including at one point for cake in this glitzy restaurant near the TV tower at Alexanderplatz.

It was neat to learn some new facts about the city I have called home since mid-September.  While most of the site-seeing served as a review for me, the bus tour still managed to introduce me to a few new corners of Berlin that I would like to return to on my own to explore a bit further. Despite getting caught in the rain with only my little umbrella for the 3 of us to share, we had a good time :)

By the time Anne and Sandro dropped me back off at home, I only had one hour to join the pig party and get my things together for the zombie party. First the pig party: Lutz and Barbara had a bunch of their friends over for a big dinner party complete with a giant pig in a pan that must have been 4 feet long. This was the same group of friends we rode the draisine with (the bike thing on the railroad tracks...back on September 29).  The pig tasted soooo delicious, and it was fun to have so many people over at our place. It felt very homey and jolly!

BUT I couldn't stay long. Anne and Sandro came back to pick me up, and we headed to one of their friend's places to get zombified.  Let me explain. We were going to a club that was hosting a zombie-themed Halloween party, and the guy whose place we got ready at works at MaskWorld.com, which is some costume outlet, so he had all the blood. Anyway, we got dressed to impress, and then hopped on the train to meet more friends on our way to the club in Berlin. Anne and Sandro's friends looked AWESOME. Strangers at the train station were asking to take pictures with them! I think that is pretty unusual for Berlin where no one talks to people they don't know.

Let's just say the actual party left something to be desired. The venue was quite small for such a large-scale event. There was really only one dance floor, and the music was not so great for dancing. It was hot, crowded, and stuffy. I think it was a shame that the party guests obviously put a lot of effort into their costumes and make-up, but then it was too dark in the club to really see the details! Ah well, I think the best part of most nights out is getting ready with friends :)

So that was Saturday: bus tour, lots of pig, and zombies. Whew! I was exhausted by the end of it.

On Sunday, I went to Potsdam with my host family! Potsdam is the capital of Brandenburg, the state where we live. (In case you are confused, we live VERY close to Berlin. By the way, Berlin is a state AND a city. But we officially live in Brandenburg. Berlin is surrounded by Brandenburg. Check out the map.)

A little geography lesson never hurt anybody. Ok, so back to my Potsdam trip...

Potsdam is a beautiful old town with lots to see (castles, museums, etc.); unfortunately, I picked a bad season to visit because most of the beauty went into hiding for the winter :( Nevertheless, we went into a neat little museum of miniature figurines made of tin, observed the former king's castle from the outside, walked through the royal garden with its many [covered and therefore completely blocked from view] sandstone statues, and walked through the Dutch quarter, where the houses were built to reflect the architecture of Holland when a bunch of Dutch people came to live in Postdam to dry the land (historically, the Dutch are known for digging canals and such). Pictures!

One of my favorite moments from our Potsdam trip occurred just moments before our family picture (above) was captured. Lutz - who barely spoke any English when I arrived in Germany - actually asked a stranger IN ENGLISH to take our picture. He didn't notice he was speaking English until we pointed it out to him! Haha, Barbara thought it was hilarious that he spoke English to a fellow German without even realizing it. It made me smile :)

In the middle of our site-seeing, of course we had to stop for "Kaffee trinken" (for me this means drinking hot chocolate and eating delicious cake in the middle of the day for no reason). I love Kaffee trinken! That is probably one of the things I will miss most about this place. I seriously can't have enough sugar...

Potsdam is definitely a city I would like to visit again in the spring or summer when the statues are not hidden in boxes...Overall, it was a very nice outing with my host family, and I'm so thankful that they all dedicated their entire Sunday to showing me a city they have already seen (Barbara went to university in Potsdam!).

On Monday after school, I was back to being a tourist! I headed to West Berlin to visit a couple of attractions that I had either read about in my Lonely Planet Book (thank you Boe family!) or heard about from my host family/teacher/classmates...

First I had a delicious lunch that made me sort of miss working at Noodles & Co. (hey, it was fun most of the time! plus the 70% discount didn't hurt either...), and then I headed to a famous church that was destroyed during WWII and the ruins are currently being preserved as a memorial. I thought I was going to see an old bombed church in the middle of a city center.  Unfortunately, they are working on the church, and so the outside of it was covered for construction. I was a little bummed, but I was able to go inside a sanctuary that has been restored for holding worship services.

I then used a new app on my iPhone to find my way to Schloss Charlottenburg (another castle). I have seen so many castles in Germany, it's unreal! So, I took a city bus for the first time to get there. Now I have used nearly all of the available modes of public transportation here: train (city, regional, and the high-speed), underground, tram, and bus. I'm a master of getting around Berlin :)

Sad news: The castle and surrounding museums are closed on Mondays. Little did I know...Oh well, I took some pictures from the outside and hurried home before it got too dark. It was also raining. I really dislike being cold, and I dislike cold rain.

Alright, moving right along. Tuesday was Election Day! I volunteered to present to my class about the election system in the USA. Not to brag too much, but I was pretty proud of myself. Like my teacher said when I had finished, "To present on a complicated federal voting system is hard enough, but to do it in a foreign language?! You have my respect." :) I have come so far with my German! Next week I start level B1. If you are interested in learning more about my school or seeing pictures of the campus, you can watch a short video and further peruse the website here.

Tuesday night I was eager to see the results of the presidential election, but the 7-hour time difference meant the winner was announced in the middle of the night here. Fear not! I randomly woke up at 4:30am and watched the results unfold on my laptop until Obama was declared the winner at 5:25am. It was important to me to see the results live - I didn't want to feel like I missed out!

Which brings me up to Wednesday. Another big day! Lutz invited me to come along with him on one of his roadtrips for work, and we headed north to the Baltic Sea! (Yes, this means I skipped school.) Our first stop was the city of Stralsund. Another cute, old German city showcasing Gothic architecture complete with a harbor on the sea.

Did you see it? Did you spot him? Scroll up again...That is no ordinary bust of some old dead guy. I recognized him immediately, got really excited, pointed obxiously, and exclaimed "I know that guy!" King Gustav Adolph of Sweden - the guy my college was named after (Gustavus Adolphus College). I only walked by an identical bust every day for 4 years. I felt like I had transported back to St. Peter, MN for a second, and it was wonderful :)

It was quite cold and windy as we walked through the city of Stralsund, but we knew the trip would not be complete without eating some fresh fish. Lutz ordered us a couple of "Fischbrötchens" from a guy on a boat that had been made into a little food stand. I was surprised to find that the fish was cold! I don't think I have ever eaten just raw fish on a bread roll. I guess there's a first time for everything.

We then made our way to a fairly new museum on the harbor called the Ozeaneum.  This was definitely one of the nicest museums I have ever visited. The exhibitions covered the biology, chemistry, and geology of the world's oceans and included many interactive models as well as live marine organisms.  It really made me want to watch Finding Nemo again (for the 457th time).  

After the museum, it was time for Kaffee trinken - my favorite time of day! Lutz and I each enjoyed a scrumptious piece of cake and warm beverage before heading out to brave the cold and continue our walking tour of the city. Our final visit in Stralsund was to an old church. I REALLY like going inside old churches. I'm not religious, but there is something so peaceful and magnificent about the grandiose architecture, immaculate sculptures, and sky-high ceilings that I find very intriguing. I feel so safe inside a church. It's almost like I step into a different world. It's a wonderful space for reflection.

Did you know Germany has islands? I didn't. (Refer to the map above for a pictorial representation of their locations.) Germany's largest island,
Rügen, is just 3km from Stralsund, so we crossed the new bridge to
Rügen and then immediately turned around to head to our next destination. Now I can say I've been on a German island :)

Our second destination for the daytrip was Greifswald - another city on the coast of the Baltic Sea. It was dark by the time of our arrival (another thing I dislike - when Daylight Savings Time ends), and I walked through a street of shops while Lutz had some quick appointments for his job. We braved the cold and rain for just a bit longer as we walked along the harbor and to the end of the peninsula (which German's call a "half island"), then had dinner at a nice restaurant near the water. Of course we had more seafood! I had a spinach cream soup with tiny shrimps and then a main course of pasta with salmon. Yum!

Needless to say, I was tired and slept most of the drive home. We arrived back home just before 9:00, and I went straight to bed. I couldn't stay awake at night if my life depended on it. That's just me. Take it or leave it.

Thursday: My bad day.  I can't put my finger on exactly what was wrong, but I was an emotional wreck.  It started during my first class at school. The teacher began the class by attempting to engage us in a discussion about the financial crisis in Europe and borrowing money from the government and reading a text about the political history of Germany after WWII, and I just wasn't picking up on anything. I felt like I had forgotten all German.  My teacher made a comment about how we all need to study our vocabulary more (after I couldn't think of the word for "Constitution"), and then he took away my iPad when I tried to search for a word's definition (a perfectly normal thing to do when you're learning a language, yet the teachers here hate it). Anyway, it really wasn't anything out of the ordinary - all of that has happened before - but yesterday I had had enough. I missed home. I wanted to quit school, pack my things, admit that I wasn't as adventuresome as I thought, and take the next flight home. I was on the verge of tears, so I just walked out of the classroom and didn't go back until after the class was over. I hid out in the bathroom until the motion-detecting lights left me in the dark, and then I went to the computer lab on campus to write some emails to a few friends. I didn't even go to my second class; I just went home. I felt stuck and lonely and sad. I wondered what I was doing here and then started contemplating my future - where I wanted to be, who I wanted to be with, what I wanted to do - that all can be quite overwhelming (especially on a bad day). I missed the comfort and familiarity of home. I missed the good ol' days of being a worry-free child. I missed my time as a college student at Gustavus. I missed my comfortable living situations in Mankato. Most of all, I missed being around people who know me. Like, REALLY know me for who I am. I still don't feel like I have any real friends here, and that can bring me down some days. Whenever I am sad, I seem to think about things that make me even more sad. Things that I can never change, like the deaths of my mom and Alec. I was just digging myself into a dark hole that seemed insurmountable. I could barely hold back my tears at dinner. Thankfully, my host family didn't make a big deal out of it and tried their best to make me feel relaxed. I also was lucky to receive a few nice messages from family members I hadn't heard from in months, and I talked to my Dad. That was really nice, but made me miss home even more. My dad reminded me that I can do anything, and I'm not the kind of person who gives up. He is right.

I am feeling better today. I was back to my normal self in my classes and then hit the gym before coming home for what I hope will be a relaxing weekend. Tomorrow I think I am going to visit the site of an old concentration camp. I also plan to stay busy with studying and planning my upcoming trip to London.

Thank you for reading :)

Measure your life in love.