An unexpected but necessary homecoming

My finals days in Berlin were wonderful thanks to my fantastic host family, and that made it difficult to leave on December 4...

Over the weekend, Lutz and Barbara took me out to a beautiful Christmas market in Berlin. There was even live entertainment complete with a ballet school's abridged version of The Nutcracker (I'm addicted), a crazy acrobatics show that I seriously can't even begin to explain because it was so bizarre, and even a few opera singers. It was also snowing the entire time, and so it felt extra magical :) Here are some pictures from the evening:

I was so unbelievably full at the market, and my host parents kept trying to get me to eat more food! I had gluhwein (hot red spiced wine - a German staple), candied almonds, a Hungarian fried bread thing smothered in garlic sauce, and chocolate-covered grapes.  I am never one to turn away food (especially chocolate), but I just couldn't fit any more in my stomach! It was a good problem to have...

On Sunday I went to another one of Jakob's soccer games, and he scored the first goal! It was really quite exciting, especially since his team always loses. Not this time ;)

On Monday I biked around the village of Zepernick (where my host family lived) to take in the sites one last time...

 

Monday night was my final night in Germany. My host family made reservations to take me out to eat at a nice German restaurant in our village. Before we left, they presented me with a couple of gifts. I was really surprised to be receiving more since they already treated me to the awesome show at the Friedrichstadt Palace! I would have never been able to guess what they presented to me that final night. They wrote a very flattering, articulate, and professional reference letter for me to use in my future job searches. I was so impressed and moved by that incredibly thoughtful gesture. They also gave me a photo book they created from my time in Berlin. I will cherish both of those items forever.

Later on at the German restaurant, I enjoyed goose (the typical bird Germans eat when celebrating holidays) and jolly conversation with Lutz, Barbara, Jakob, Anne, and Sandro. It was fun to all be together one last time.

The next morning, I was on my way. Lutz took me to the airport and took one final picture of me in Germany :) 

 
And then I was off to London! Here is where it gets a bit interesting... After hauling my three heavy pieces of luggage up and down all the stairs at the tube stations (no elevators!), breaking my roller suitcase handle, and checking into my hostel, I didn't know what to do. I was starving, cold, and overwhelmed with trying to manage all of my tentative plans to stay with people through couchsurfing.org, which was all made more difficult by the lack of free wifi at my hostel.  I was just frustrated and lonely.

The next day I took advantage of a free walking tour through London, where I was able to see the major sites: Buckingham Palace (the queen was home!), Westminster Abbey, Big Ben, Hyde Park, all of the guards with the funny hats who can't talk or smile, and then had bangers and mash (sausage and mashed potatoes) at a nice pub with some people from the tour group - mostly Australians and Americans.

I also did a pub crawl that night with a couple of the Aussies I met at the pub after our tour. It was neat to see a glimpse into the nightlife of London after not really experiencing much in Berlin for the 11 weeks I was there.

That fun did not last long, and the next day I was back to feeling quite overwhelmed, anxious, and frankly miserable. I walked all around town searching for free wifi so I could try and sort out my plans for the coming weeks and also find a phone store since the credit with my German SIM was quickly drained from using my phone for internet access in London. I swear I worked for months when I lived in Berlin to try and sort out accommodation options for my time in London, but it all seemed to be falling apart when I finally arrived. I was more lonely than ever, and sticking it out for two more weeks before finally going to Sweden felt like an eternity. It's not easy for me to travel by myself. I can handle the problem solving and decision making, but not the loneliness. I felt like I was pushing against the grain of an adventure that was supposed to be exciting and fun, but it really wasn't either of those things for me. Perhaps if I was there at a different time of year, or with more money, or with a friend, it would have been a different story. To cut to the chase, I decided to go home. Immediately. I called my Dad to discuss my feelings, and he agreed that it was time for me to come home. Instantly, I felt a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. I booked a ticket for the following morning, packed my luggage, and set my alarm to wake up early and head to the airport where I had just been a few days earlier. 

I am home in Prior Lake now, and it feels amazing. It was a difficult and costly decision to make. I was really looking forward to seeing my friend Mikaela in Sweden for Christmas and then traveling on with her to Dubai. However, I was so unhappy it just didn't seem worth it anymore to continue on feeling so lonely and miserable. Although I feared the response of my friends and family when I showed up a month earlier than expected, I have been greeted with wonderful heartfelt words of support for my decision. I am happy to be home for the holidays, and will continue to search for jobs as I look forward to the next leg of this adventure we all experience together: Life.

Thank you for following along on this enriching opportunity.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Leaving Minneapolis/St. Paul - September 15, 2012